Wondering if this will ever end?

So on January 1, 2013, I joined Weight Watchers.  My weight was the highest it has ever been, 271.6.  Talk about humiliation.  I hesitate to even put that on there because I know my husband reads my blog and I don't want him to know, I am so ashamed.  :(  But maybe that is what it will take?  I don't know.  Anyway, I have lost about 12 lbs so far.  Actually more than that--but I have lost, gained, lost, gained--I would guess I have lost and regained maybe 15-20 lbs.  All in a three month period.  I want this time to be different--I want to lose 100 lbs.  I want to weigh less than I ever have in my adult life.  I believe when I had my senior pics taken, I weighed 175.  I thought I was so fat then!  Now I am nearly 100 lbs more than that.  UGH.  I want to be healthy for my family.  I want to be beautiful for my husband.  I want him to be able to carry me across the threshold  :)  I want to be able to go into a regular clothing store and buy a cute dress and have it fit me!  I want to not feel like I have let God down because I have chosen food over Him as a god in my life.  Ouch.  That hurts to admit but it is true.  I read on another blog today that if I cut out all sugar and refined flour that I will eventually stop craving it.  I think that is what needs to happen because I tell you what, if you put a box of cookies in front of me, I could eat the whole thing.  I have done it before, I know I could.  I don't know how to do it in a way that my family will accept, but I need to find a way.  Lord help me.